Our feelings of success and failure as women are closely tied to our fertility. In this final video of my fertility series, I discuss what may seem to be the hardest aspect of fertility.
Probably my favorite topic is fertility and emotions. That can be a lot, probably more than I might be able to put in three minutes but we’re going to try. I’ve had a lot of handholding with women over fertility throughout the years.
There are so many emotions tied to women, fertility, success, pregnancy, maintaining a pregnancy, birth, where you’re going to birth, who are you going to birth with, what type of mother are you going to be. All of that weighs heavy on our bodies and it runs in the background. So, we don’t necessarily pay attention to it until we’ve been taught to pay attention to it.
I always talk about false data that appears to be real and fertility is a great topic for that. We have a lot of data that is real. “I’ve not been able to get pregnant.” How our brain interprets that though is based on our emotions. “Therefore, I’m a failure.” And it can go all over the place from there. “God doesn’t love me.” I’ve heard that one. That one is just – that one hurts. “I wasn’t meant to have a child. I’m not blessed to have a child.”
We turn it so much into ourselves when in reality, if you measure out 365 days in a year, there’s really only one or two, maybe three days a month that you can get pregnant. So in some ways, the statistics aren’t great to get pregnant in the best of circumstances.
Then when we add in all of the complications that have been given to our women’s bodies: birth control pills are one of the number one reasons for infertility. We see also MTHFR, another huge issue for infertility. We see our food that is shutting down the pituitary gland. It’s affecting our males. It’s affecting the females’ fertility.
What we’re seeing is a lot of reasons that women aren’t getting pregnant that doesn’t have anything to do with their true success, if that makes sense. And it’s when women start to take back control of their environment, of their structure, of their bodies, of their nutrition, of their emotions, that we then see pretty miraculous things start to occur.
I’ve always said that when you start writing out what it is you want to accomplish, listen to what your brain pops up, write that out, and see where those stories are coming from, you’ll begin to see success. I worked with one mom who just did not have a great upbringing. There was a real big part of her that was terrified to get pregnant because she didn’t have any good role models. And she didn’t have any good support.
We set her up a series of books to read. We put her in with a mentor. I found a great mom figure for her to be able to touch base with and sounds things out with. This “mom” did what moms do, right? Just brought her into the fold and was helpful to her as she worked on herself.
It was very quickly after she began working on her emotions that she came in and said, I think I can do this. I think I have the capability to be a really great mom. It wasn’t long after that she ended up becoming pregnant.
Always remember that the mind is truly, probably the most powerful organ that we have. And what it runs both on the foreground and in the background is going to make everything we want successful or not successful. When I’m working one on one with people, it has shifted into realizing the emotions are the key. And if we can get that down, and we can remove all this false data, then we get our goal.
That is what I really, really encourage you to do. Get deep so that when your emotions are triggered, you can write down where the story came from? Is this being triggered because I’ve got a really bad environment? Is this being triggered because I’ve just eaten really crappy food? Is this being triggered because I haven’t moved in quite a long time, and my body has to move to think? When you start looking at your emotions that way, then you start having much better options than, hey, I’m just infertile.
Do this work. It is the hardest, easiest thing you’ve ever done. It’s so hard to sit down and really look at yourself. But once you start doing it, it gets easier and easier. And then once you start getting control of it, life is pretty great. Talk to you soon. Bye bye.
Thanks for watching this series on fertility. Did you learn something new? Do you feel more empowered now to take charge? Let us know how it affected you in the comments below!