Where Did My Libido Go?

by | Feb 21, 2020 | Emotional Pillar, Nutritional Pillar

Has your libido gone missing? Is it in hiding? Have you perhaps thought or even said, “I’d be fine if I never had sex again. I just don’t care about it.” Or maybe you really want to have sex, maybe you want to want it and just….don’t. We have access to endless information about sex, but I want to really simplify this topic for you. 
If you have lost your sex drive, this is a sign that your adrenal glands are exhausted and not in a healthy place. The adrenal glands produce hormones that help regulate metabolism, respond to stress, and perform other functions like managing our immune system and blood pressure. One hormone they produce is adrenaline which is secreted in response to stress. This stress can be due to a political post on social media, a car pulling out in front of us on the road, a child not cleaning their room after being asked 837 times, an angry boss, a toxic relationship, and many other stressful situations. They also produce cortisol which helps us manage our response to stress. When we have ongoing stress, our adrenal glands become very overworked and “drained.” In addition to these two “stress hormones,” our adrenal glands also produce small amounts of sex hormones.

As you know, I don’t like to teach and explain root causes of issues without providing some solutions. Three of the best options to support and nourish your adrenal glands are:

  1. Keep your sugars under 40 grams per day. When our insulin and sugars are too high, our adrenals work even more overtime, causing greater strain. 
  2. Use Redmond Real Salt on your food and even a pinch in your water. The natural trace minerals in the salt can provide lovely nourishment to your adrenal glands. 
  3. Clean up what you eat to kick-start your whole body’s health and revive your sex life. Remember if we aren’t feeding our body good energy through whole, organic foods, it cannot create energy. Go gluten free, soy free, limit your dairy and corn. If you would like support on where to start – check out my 90 Days To Clean Eating Online Course.
Why would our bodies shut down our desire for sex during times of high stress? Because our innate intelligence realizes that the worst thing that could happen to us during stressful times would be to get pregnant! It’s actually our body’s way of protecting us. By inviting adrenal gland nourishment, rest, and managing our stress, we can begin to signal to the body that it’s safe and ok to reproduce. (Whether or not you want to reproduce, the desire for sex will increase because it will feel safe to do so.) 
The other important component to consider when exploring a low libido is if there is a history of physical or sexual abuse. Regardless of how long ago the abuse occurred, our bodies have the tendency to shut down. This is not something for you to navigate alone. Please reach out. I have several protocols and recommendations for healing trauma to share with you. 
Another consideration when exploring a low libido is to think about how sex was discussed in your formative years. Was it presented to you as a glorious, wonderful potential for two consenting, healthy adults? Was it presented as something forbidden and to be ashamed of? Was it completely ignored? Become aware of the narrative that you have possibly adopted surrounding sex and your sexuality and write one that is positive and better serves you and your partner. 
My last recommendation is to make it fun! Put a little jar of coconut oil on your nightstand for some lubrication. (I do suggest having a “kitchen coconut oil” and a “bedroom coconut oil” so the two don’t mix.) Play some sexy music! Send a suggestive text to your lover. Whatever would make you feel relaxed and at ease, do it! 
We have awesome ways to support ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally to restore our libido and enjoy healthy, passionate, fun sex lives!


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