A Tip for Mother’s Day Emotions

by | May 9, 2019 | Emotional Pillar

If Mother’s Day is complicated for you, let me offer you a tip for processing it. Grab a journal or several sheets of paper, a writing utensil, and hit play.

Today we are going to talk about women and emotions. May is Mother’s Day, so it’s all about women. I want to talk about Mother’s Day and women for a little bit. I also want to talk about fertility, because May can be a really hard month for a lot of women, because maybe, you desperately want kids, and you are working as hard as you can, and it’s not working the way you thought it would be.

Maybe, you’ve really worked hard and have lost. It’s painful, especially right now when everybody else is showing off the presents people get for Mother’s Day. Maybe, you’ve had both. Maybe, you’ve been blessed with live children, and maybe, you’ve been blessed with children in Heaven. And that does not ever go away.  

Maybe you’ve been blessed with children and they’re fantastic! Maybe, you’ve been blessed with children and they’re crap right now. It happens. There is not necessarily a day that has gone by where I’m like, all of this is perfect. Sometimes, I’m in a mood. Sometimes, they’re in a mood. And sometimes, that just doesn’t work for a great relationship. Painfully, sometimes, that lasts for a lot of years.

So, this month can be super hard. There’s so much comparison that goes on. Please don’t get into other people’s shoes. They never fit, and half the time, they stink. It’s just not worth it, but it’s hard because it’s also out there in our faces right now.

When we start talking about emotions for women, it is such a deep topic. And I wish there was just one thing you could do and you’d be fine. But the truth is there is not just one thing that women get to do and fix everything. Men don’t either, so I don’t think they got off the hook easy.

One of the things that I encourage all women to do is to sit down, find that quiet time wherever that may be, and think about you. Even more awesome if you’re young and you haven’t gotten married or had children. It’s never too late if you have kids, been married, done all the things, been divorced, whatever. Whatever situation you’re in, I recommend you take these next steps.

Sit down with a piece of paper and think about you. Think about you and your ethics. Think about what’s important to you. If you wear multiple hats, put the hat on as a woman, put the hat on as a wife, put that hat on as a mother, put that hat on as an employer, put that hat on as an employee, put that hat on as a daughter. Write down what is so important to you. What values would you love somebody to say about you? Try to come up with five or 10 words that would explain you with each of those hats, because my values and my ethics as a business owner are not the values and ethics as a mom.

Now, are there similarities? Absolutely. Are there a couple words that are in both categories? Absolutely. But are they identical? Not at all. So, what I did was I put on each of my hats, I wrote down my values, my ethics, what I hope somebody would say about me when it’s all said and done, and then I looked for the similarities. And I found that there were about six values, about six ethics, about six things that were pretty consistent. And I went ahead, and that became part of who I was.

From that point on, you get to work towards those values. When I first started this, it wasn’t where I wanted to be. I used it as a roadmap: here’s where I’m at, here’s what I wanted to say. What do I need to do to learn how to get here? Who do I need to talk to? Who do I need to interview? What book do I need to read? How do I move myself from point A to point B to point C to point D to point E?

And let me tell you, if you’ve had a little bit of a rough life there will be vectors. Just when you get to Z, does not mean you’ve made it. Each time you learn a lesson and each time you get a little bit better, you’ve got even more tools that will enable you to go further. Life is about acknowledging that maybe you didn’t get all the tools, but you’re going to acquire those tools and you’re not going to stop until you are digging who you are.

I hope this has been helpful for you. We’re going to dig in deep with emotions, and there’s going to be lots of tools. If you’re a loss for just where to go or where to start, message me. I’m going to give you some great books. I will give you homework, because I am pretty good at telling people what to do. Stay tuned, more to come on this topic!

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