Hello, men! Today, we’re tackling a topic that’s often overlooked but incredibly impactful: negative self-talk. This is the internal dialogue and self-criticism that can shape our reality and how we see ourselves.
I’m often amazed at how harsh we can be on ourselves. We dismiss our efforts, criticize our actions, and say things to ourselves that we’d never say to anyone else. And most of the time, we do this without even realizing it. Maybe some of these phrases sound familiar:
- “I’m so stupid!”
- “I can’t get it right to save my life!”
- “I’m an idiot; I can’t believe I forgot that.”
These are just a few examples of the negative self-talk many of us engage in, often without giving it a second thought. Sometimes, we say these things quietly, and sometimes, we even speak them aloud. Most of us spend our days on autopilot, unaware of the thoughts running through our minds.
Changing the Narrative: It’s time to break free from this pattern. I have a simple exercise that can empower you to become more aware of your unconscious thoughts. I want you to start paying attention to your words and phrases when talking to yourself.
Here’s what you need to do:
- Grab a Notebook: Get a small notebook and pen to carry throughout your day.
- Observe and Record: Notice what’s going on in the background of your thoughts and write it down. Don’t judge or try to change your writing; observe and record.
- Reflect Weekly: At the end of the week, sit down and read through everything you wrote. Ask yourself, “If I spoke to my best friend, child or partner like this, how would it impact our relationship?” This reflection can be eye-opening. We often treat ourselves in ways we’d never treat those we care about, damaging our relationship with ourselves.
The Power of Positive Self-Talk
Research proves that every cell in your body listens to your words. Our thoughts and words are not separate from our physical selves. Your body responds to your thoughts and words and will perform accordingly.
Even subtle things like, “I’m a terrible sleeper. I never get enough sleep,” can shape your reality if repeated often enough. When you affirm negative stories about yourself, you reinforce those beliefs.
After evaluating your internal dialogue, I encourage you to collaborate with a friend for accountability. Commit to ending negative, derogatory self-talk. Here’s how you can reframe your thoughts:
- Negative: “I’m always making mistakes.”
- Positive: “I’m learning from my mistakes.”
- Negative: “I can’t do anything right.”
- Positive: “I’ve come so far!”
- Negative: “I’m not good enough.”
- Positive: “I’m doing my best.”
After practicing this for a month, set a reminder on your calendar to observe the positive changes in yourself, your relationships, and your work. When we speak uplifting words to ourselves, we open up to a world of possibilities and become more capable of offering that positivity to others.
If we want to be the change we wish to see in the world, we must start with ourselves. As Brene Brown wisely said, “Talk to yourself like you’re someone you love.”
So, let’s make a pact to treat ourselves with the kindness and respect we truly deserve. It’s time to transform our inner dialogue and see the profound impact it can have on our lives and the lives of those around us.
