Do you often say, “there’s no time” or “I missed my window”? Then this blog is for you!
I know this topic is complex, especially for women and super especially for moms. My concern is that we often make self-promises, and these statements usually mean we fall out of alignment with ourselves, our purpose, and our heart’s desires. There is such intense pressure on the timelines of our lives to ensure we’re checking all the boxes that society gave us, creating this society-wide feeling of being behind or missing out! “I’ll do that when I’m done with school,” “I’ll be able to do that after I get married,” “When the kids are older,” or “That’ll have to wait until insert whatever here” these phrases keep adding up in different ways and the results are that we often put ourself last.
When you constantly put others ahead of yourself, it becomes easy to start disconnecting from things that set your soul on fire. This disconnect can lead to depression and/or anger with life.
When I was in my mid-thirties, my children were all still young and needed our full attention, and I was constantly stressed out, trying to get them to dance or practice, fed, in bed on time, do their homework, and the list goes on. I was finding things I wanted to do desperately, but between my family and my patients, I could not find the time to squeeze anything new in without falling behind in something else. I remember one day, my grandmother was listening to me complain about running out of time, and she patted my hand and said, “Listen, honey… your first eighteen years belonged to your parents, the next eight belonged to the school, and now you have four children and a full career. You aren’t even going to know what your life is truly like until you’re fifty! That’s twenty years. And that still gives you thirty years until you’re my age. You’re just starting to find your life, don’t stress.” I sat back and just took in the weight of what she said. It made me realize how decades of my life have been spaced out perfectly for what I wanted to do in life. My priorities were changing over time, so it wasn’t that I was running out of time to do the things I wanted to do; it just simply wasn’t the decade for them. For example, I have always wanted to quilt, but I’m saving that for my seventies when my children will have their children and need blankets. I have always wanted to play tennis and have marveled at stunning tennis legs, and now that my youngest two are in high school, I have the time to step away from them to go and play tennis. Knowing that I fulfilled my promise to myself brings me such joy! I am thrilled that this is the time to enjoy this new hobby!
Being a parent brings so many fun and exciting times. When you learn how to manage your time and your promises, it gets even better. Stop lamenting lost time and losing what experiences you have right now with your loved ones! Start looking at your life in decades and plan out accordingly! Journaling is a great way to accomplish this. Write out all the things you want to do, places you want to go, and things you want to master, and then timeline them out. Take time to acknowledge that you might not be able to prioritize things when you wish to, but that does not mean you’re out of time. Maybe the time is just not right now!